Marriages are settled in HEAVEN!!!

Marriages are settled in Heaven but solemnised on Earth.
The sacred unity of two unknown souls are written from birth,
The fusion of two hearts, union of two lives together will start a new life by exchanging "VARMALA"

These lines were written on an invitation card of one my friend who is going to be married in short. After having a look on these lines I really started thinking how true is this?

The institution of marriage has undergone great stresses over the last century. High divorce rate and the new trend of living together has resulted in broken families and troubled children. The human society developed and refined the institution of marriage over a long period of time. Although scientific achievements have provided the World with all kinds of amenities, the human beings have not changed at a basic level. The human instincts such as joy, jealousy, love, hate, fear, pride and prejudice have not changed over the millenniums. We all need friends and family to share the life experiences. Experiences that make you laugh, cry, argue, support and love. We all need a healthy and stable family to be grown up and have peace in life. We all are the same person from birth. We tend to think the way we are brought up by our environment, people around and most importantly the family.

And here comes the important question. How do we start a family of our own? If you ask this question to someone they'll laugh at you, because the answer is very simple-- Get Married and You'll have a family of your own. But do we marry just to have a family? Just to have kids!!!! A big NO will be the answer from each and every married man (Though some will differ). We marry because we need somebody in our life who will swear by God to be with us till life comes to an end. To laugh, to comfort and most importantly to understand us. So we make a conclusion to have a stable family we need a stable life partner. And that’s the soul aim of the institution called marriage.

In India we have already categorised marriage into two types--Arranged Marriage & Love Marriage.

We have a vast cultural and regional diversity in India. Each region has different culture and upbringing. Arranged marriage is based on the perception that successful marriage belong to similar cultural group. Same cultural people have the same kind of upbringing and they can understand each other well. One's family tries to match a groom or bride. After the matching is over you are supposed to marry the person and live life ever after happily In such marriages there comes a compulsion on keeping that promise. As in such type of marriage your family respect comes first and then you. Whereas in love marriage you know your partner before. But in such marriages you need to overcome lots of struggles. As most of the love marriages are cross-cultural marriage. And its very difficult to make your family understand as they have a different perception over the ages. The main difference of these two types marriages is that the former one gives importance to the institution of marriage and the later gives importance to the objective of the marriage--Life partner. So logically speaking I prefer the later and I believe every human at his or her heart wants that. :)

Recently I had some experiences of arranged marriage's procedures. I have a roommate whom I call Sunil Bhaiya (Name not real). He works in AMDOCS. His marriage is on the cards and which is going to be a pure arranged marriage. His parents keep on sending the photos of the would be brides whom he has to give the final green signal. I was quite shocked to see the approach and the procedures by which these marriages are settled. It’s like applying for some job. The bride generally makes an application form and post it to different probable grooms. After that there is a long procedure of selection. I am mentioning some of the traits of such kind of application.

It starts with like this.(The names mentioned are not real)
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Sir :Sunil
Given below is bio data of my daughter for your consideration.
Name:Neha
DOB:17th Oct 1982
Height:5ft 2inch
Complexion:Fair (not gori) [Now whats is????]
General:Normal eyesight 6/6, attractive sharp feature ,50Kg, good health , free from any illness,Athlete at School& College
level. [Sharp Feature...Hmmmm..Whats all these??Is it a commodity??]
FATHER & Address Shri. Ratan
MOTHER Mridula. A religious, pious and dedicated housewife [I'm impressed]
BROTHER Shishir (I I T-CHENNAI) Married
GRAND FATHER Late. Panna Lal
GRAND MOTHER Late Smt. Shanti Devi
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This is not the end. Then there is a long explanation of the bride. What she likes and she is open to everything whatever comes to her life.Below is some explanation.

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Neha has got a campus job. She has also qualified G level examination of C DAC and will get a job at C DAC Mumbai/Noida/Bangalore or any other location. Yet she is open for the job and will abide by the wishes of her husband. She wishes to start her own teaching school for teaching c++ etc to engineering and MCA students so that she can find enough time for her family. She will be happy to live in a joint family. She is doing a project in one of the units at IIT. Her MCA will be complete by April2007. Marriage can take place any time. Special Traits Reading, outdoor games, dancing , learning new things. She is caring, homely girl who strongly believes in Indian values. She takes life as it comes. Neha is a good human being having a lot of empathy and contentment, away from the rat race of materialistic things. She will have innate respect for her husband. She is well aware that after marriage husband’s parents become primary. She says that a happy family is one with a loving spouse and parents, sustainable wealth , friendly working environment and a disease free family.
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That was a good speech and advertisement. I am really impressed!!!

So the advertising of the product is over. Now the groom's family (In other words customer) will analyse the product. Try to find out shortcomings of the product if they find any .If the product is ok to the family then they will send it to the groom
along with a prototype(photograph). Generally the groom looks at the photo and decides. The different reason of rejection are as follows.
--"Moti he"
--"Bahat patli he"
--"Jyada padi likhi he.Baadme dominate karegi" etc.

Man where comes the question of dominance? We tend to forget the main aim of marriage as we want to analyse all the pros and consequences. Marriage is not about dominating somebody. Its about cooperating not dominating. Its so easy to point a finger to someone showing their faults. But we forget while pointing out somebody there are four more fingers that are pointing to ourself. If the other person has one fault then we have four more to look.

I am still thinking how true are these lines??

"Marriages are settled in Heaven but solemnised on Earth.
The sacred unity of two unknown souls are written from birth,
The fusion of two hearts, union of two lives together will start a new life."